Joke

[Chefanim]

A man was riding his Harley along a California beach when suddenly the sky parted above his head and, in a booming voice, the Lord said,

'Because you have tried to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish.'

The biker pulled over and said, 'Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can ride over anytime I want.' The Lord said, 'Your request is materialistic. Think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking; the supports reaching the bottom of the Pacific and the concrete and steel it would take! It will nearly exhaust several natural resources. I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and think of something that could possibly help mankind.'

The biker thought about it for a long time. Finally, he said, 'Lord, I wish that I and all men could understand women; I want to know how she feels inside, what she's thinking when she gives me the silent treatment, why she cries, what she means when she says nothings wrong, and how I can make a woman truly happy.'

The Lord replied, 'You want two lanes or four on that bridge?'

[swifty]

pu, pu, pu, buahahahaha!!!
iPhones are making weird things to mankind

[Chefanim]

i used to pray to the Lord every night and ask Him for a bicycle- but then i realized that God doesn't work that way, so I stole one and prayed for Him to forgive me...

[MANUP456]

@Chefanim
I fogive you lol...I heard all your prayer an yes i do forgive you lol...Oh you meen the other lord.

[Casper]

This isn't an English joke as such, but let's try:

A vampire walks into a bar and asks the barman for a glass of blood, taken aback by the request, the barman goes outside, he slaughters a goat and returns with the vampire's blood. So the vampire drinks it. A while after drinking the blood, the vampire requests a second glass. The barman regrets to tell the vampire that unfortunately they don't have another animal to slaughter.
So the vampire thinks for a while and then asks the barman for a glass of warm water. A bit confused by his decision, the barman gets the water and hands it over to the vampire. The vampire opens his jacket and takes out a tampon. He puts the tampon into the glass and, while stirring says, "In that case we'll drink some tea" .

("Dan drink ons 'n bietjie tee").

No need to laugh.

[Chefanim]

This isn't an English joke as such, but let's try:

A vampire walks into a bar and asks the barman for a glass of blood, taken aback by the request, the barman goes outside, he slaughters a goat and returns with the vampire's blood. So the vampire drinks it. A while after drinking the blood, the vampire requests a second glass. The barman regrets to tell the vampire that unfortunately they don't have another animal to slaughter.
So the vampire thinks for a while and then asks the barman for a glass of warm water. A bit confused by his decision, the barman gets the water and hands it over to the vampire. The vampire opens his jacket and takes out a tampon. He puts the tampon into the glass and, while stirring says, "In that case we'll drink some tea" .

("Dan drink ons 'n bietjie tee").

No need to laugh.

Thats just gross LOL

[Casper]

i know, I'm sorry, didn't mean to gross anyone out.
Just a joke I heard.

[Chefanim]

gross but funny

[naset]

bwahahahaha!!!!!!!

[astalavistadear]

A little girl walks into her parents' bathroom and notices for the First time, her father's nakedness.

Immediately, she is curious: he has equipment that she doesn't have. She asks, 'What are those round things hanging there, daddy?'

Proudly, he replies, 'Those, sweetheart, are God's Apples of Life.

Without them we wouldn't be here.'

Puzzled, she seeks her mommy out and tells her what daddy has said.

To which mommy asks, 'Did he say anything about the dead branch they're hanging from?'